A lot of people are so depleted right now that a simple hello can be really meaningful,”
Dr. Richard Weissbourd
Imagine that! Something as simple as saying “hello” could make a serious difference in someone’s day. I agree. As this pandemic, the social distancing, our extra small bubbles, and mask-wearing drag on, I find myself feeling dry, thirsty, and hungry for normal and connections again.
I’m all Zoomed out.
I’m Facebook live exhausted.
I’m tired of answering, “Oh, nothing much, pretty much the same as always.” – which really means we did nothing other than essential activities like buying food and toilet paper when someone asks me what I’ve gotten up to on the weekend.
I’m tired.
I’m tired of all the precautions.
I know precautions matter, and I engage in them to the best of my ability, but I’m tired of doing it. I feel like throwing my face shield and mask to the floor and stomping on them long and hard because I’m fed up with how they fog my glasses up and just seem to add a layer of complexity to conversation.
“What did you say?”
“Oh sorry, it’s this dang mask. I said…. ”
Today with one lady I had to repeat myself three times and then completely rephrase myself in order to be understood under all of my precautionary face garb.
I feel ridiculous floating around in my green surgical gown, crooked face shield (cus the foam padding that protects my forehead has warped somehow) and blue mask.
Pre-pandemic, I struggled enough with my identity as a chaplain. Today…it feels worse sometimes.
I wonder who my dear residents think I am as I attempt to talk with them.
A doctor? (I have to say no I’m not a doctor at least once a day.)
“Do you like my green dress?” (I’ve used this line so many times as residents have stared at me trying to figure out what I’m wearing.)
But the one I hate the most, is feeling like stranger. A strange looking stranger. I often see the look of, “Who or what is this?” as I approach. Dementia is hard enough to deal with, and then you have a dude in a green surgical gown, face shield and mask coming towards you.
I’m tired of this.
And so are many of us.
Back to the opening quote: a simple hello can make a huge difference for some people.
This is absolutely true. I have been engaged in the usual: “Good morning, how are you?” on an almost daily basis.
The ritual reply is almost always, “I’m well, how about you?”
Ritual.
I don’t think I’ve had a REAL hello, how are you doing today? in a few weeks now. It happened over the phone, and it came from a co-worker.
A real hello is not a ritual hello.
A real hello should be said by someone who stops, at a safe distance from you, and looks you right in the eye. There is a smile – maybe smiling with your eyes if your mouth is covered by a mask, but a smile should be present.
There should also be waiting. Not passing by the person being greeted at a million miles an hour so that the only thing they can squeak out is ritual response. “I’m good thanks!” Or “Good morning to you too!”
No. The hello I need to have, and the hello I need to practice giving to others is the slow kind, even if I have to be somewhere – I need to pause. I need to make eye contact, and I need to smile with my eyes as I say hello.
It is this kind of hello that might mean something to someone else, because it says you care enough to engage.
Leave a Reply