God, where are you?

It’s hard to even talk about someone when you feel like they’ve dropped you, turned their back on you, and ignored everything you’ve tried to say.

It’s hard to believe they even care if all they ever seem to do is fail to be there. 

In my desperation I DID ask for help. I DID try to talk to you. 

But I don’t think you listened. 

Maybe you just don’t care…about me. 

It feels like you walked away when I needed you most. 

So why bother with you? 

Where is God when I need him most? Why does he seem so silent? So distant? 

Resonate with you today? 

So God…. where are you? 

If you’re feeling that way today, like God has turned a deaf ear to your prayers, then you are in the right place. You are also in good company! 

Ever hear of the Bible? It’s filled with stories of God breaking into regular people’s lives and doing amazing and mind blowing things in and through them. And more in tune with how you might be feeling today,  the Bible has many stories of people who struggled with God and his perceived silence. 

Have mercy on me…

One such story is found in the book of Matthew, chapter 15 verses 21-28.  In a mix of my own words and Mattew’s, it goes like this: A woman approaches Jesus crying out for help: “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.”

Being a parent, I can’t think of a more desperate problem! I can only imagine the pain her heart must have felt as she left her daughter that day in search of help. Maybe she ran everywhere throughout her town, looking and searching for the one called Jesus. She had heard of his reputation of being a healer and a helper. Best news of all, she had heard that he had arrived there…in her town and was somewhere nearby!

I wonder what doubts this dear lady had to fight through?

 What if all the stories she had been hearing about this man were…well….just stories? 

What if he was too busy, and didn’t have time to help? 

What if…what if he just didn’t care? 

She was a woman. In those days, sadly, women struggled to be heard and seen. 

Even more complicated? She’d heard Jesus was Jewish. She was not. Jews and Gentiles, which is how Jews often referred to non-Jewish people as, well…they didn’t mix. She could likely even be considered unclean. Dirty. 

What should she do? 

She would try. Maybe this Jesus could help. 

If the stories were true, he had healed many like her daughter. 

Maybe he would listen. 

Maybe he would come. 

Maybe he would help. 

Maybe he would end this nightmare.

And so she ran to find him. 

The biblical story begins with the woman coming up to Jesus, crying loudly for help…

 “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.” Are the words Matthew records. 

The story doesn’t show us her feelings, but to be heard above the din of the crowds that often pressed tightly around Jesus, she would have had to yell at the top of her voice. 

She’s desperate. Maybe in tears. 

We can only imagine what she might have felt, but Jesus saw her. He heard her.

But what you think should happen next, doesn’t. 

You’re doing this wrong, Jesus!

Jesus doesn’t drop everything to help. 

Matthew writes in verse 23 that Jesus didn’t answer a word. 

Wait….what!?

<Insert epic record scrape here.> 

I read that story expecting, like what you might have been, that Jesus would immediately come to her aid. He had helped so many before! 

But he doesn’t. 

Jesus didn’t answer. Not a single word. 

There’s a giant period after that. A full stop. A whole lot of….

Silence. 

When God is uncomfortably silent

This is starting to get uncomfortable, isn’t it? 

Maybe even a bit familiar? 

That whole bit about God and his maddening silence… seems like He’s done it before! 

Matthew continues by pointing out that this all got to a point where Jesus’ disciples came over to urge Jesus to just send her on her way.   

And for a few moments, the conversation shifts away from the woman. 

Jesus and his pals keep walking, and Jesus explains that he was sent to help the lost ones of Israel which meant that this woman was not included in his mission at the time…or so it seems at first. 

The story shifts rapidly back to the woman. She hasn’t left. She hasn’t given up. In fact, Matthew tells us that she came right up to Jesus again! Verse 25 picks up the story in this way: But she came and began to bow down before Him, saying, “Lord, help me!”

This is stunning! But the story gets worse, not better! 

Just when you thought things would get better…

Jesus replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”

Ok, hold on! What is wrong with this guy!? How could he insult someone like that when they are obviously in great need!? How could he – 

The woman interrupts me as I freak out about Jesus’ insanely rude reply.

She doesn’t even skip a beat!

“Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”

This woman has guts! She pushes back and counters Jesus’ words. 

She’s not deterred. 

Not offended.

Not put off.

If anything, she’s emboldened! 

“Yes it is, Lord…” 

Her words feel strong and determined. 

She doesn’t crumble into a pile of tears, having taken one blow too many. First her daughter’s terrible suffering…day in and day out…and now this guy ignoring her? Blowing her off? And then insulting her? 

Unless we don’t see what she saw that day. 

Unless we’re not hearing what she heard that day. 

The text tells us the events of the story, but it is hard to hear HOW the words were spoken. 

The rapid and determined push back from the woman seems to say there was something else happening between her and Jesus that made her insist. Something that the text was not able to capture. 

Did Jesus’ face soften as he spoke, inviting her somehow to not give up?

Perhaps the words came softer than how we read them. 

Was there somehow play involved? 

We’re not sure. Matthew doesn’t tell us. 

But what we do see is the determined faith of a dear woman seeking help for her suffering daughter.

Matthew continues with the encounter:

Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.

I sat back in my seat when I read that part. What a crazy story! 

Finally her persistent faith and pushing through silence is rewarded!

Is God really ignoring me?

Here’s what really jumped out at me:  When all the woman got was silence, it wasn’t because Jesus was ignoring her.  Though he kept walking he made sure he didn’t go very far away but remained close enough that she could catch him again, though he very easily could have lost the woman in the crowd.

But he didn’t. 

Jesus stayed nearby so that the woman could catch him again. 

What if he wasn’t blowing her off, but was instead inviting her closer?

Even the difficult words he spoke that seem to be off-putting and rude, don’t shove her away…but seem to draw her in even closer! Strengthening her resolve, not weakening it.

If what people were saying about Jesus were true, that He had the power to command sicknesses to leave and they did, and that he had the power to free the demon-possessed with a word….wouldn’t he also have the right words to shut down a desperate woman looking for help? 

But that’s not what happened. That’s not what this dear woman heard when Jesus talked with her. 

This woman was somehow drawn closer, not pushed away! 

Friend, I don’t know what you’re facing today. I don’t know how desperate you feel, or how silent God has been to your prayers.  But today, if you’re feeling that silence when you pray…like maybe Jesus has kept on walking… maybe he isn’t ignoring you after all, but is, in fact, inviting you to come closer?