“Nobody is born a bully, Period. Bullies are made.”
“Nobody is born a bully. Period. Bullies are made.” – Peter W. Schroeder & Dagmar Schroeder-Hildebrand
Isn’t that the truth?
When we see a bully, we are instantly presented with the likely possibility of labelling the bully as a bully. Of sticking a title over that individual that somehow brings their status of being a person….a human being who thinks and feels – down into a label.
We stop seeing a person, and instead see a thing.
That’s a mistake.
Their actions – the torment they dish out. The disgusting language they use. Their intimidations and humiliations – all of it – are totally unacceptable and wrong.
But in the moment we allow ourselves to see a label instead of a person…we are robbed.
We are robbed of seeing a person who didn’t start out to hurt others.
We are robbed of seeing someone who was created, who has a purpose and a design.
We diminish our opportunity to help, and to care.
All because we see a thing. A bully.
I totally agree with Peter and Dagmar’s idea: “Bullies are made.”
Immediately seek to stop the hurting of others by someone who is bullying, but I wonder what would happen if we would just as quickly begin asking ourselves AND the wounded who is doing the wounding…how did this happen to you? What brought you to this point in your life? What have you endured that makes you want to hurt others?
What would be…what could be…if we saw these folks differently?
I love your writing!! We went to school with the worst bullies ever!!! They tortured me too and I hated them!!! It seems like everyone else just sat around watching these assholes do what they did and no one else ever jumped to my defence or anyone elses!!! After years of torment… I couldn’t take it anymore to let anyone else feel what I felt so by grade 10 I decided to start standing up for others who were being bullied even though I also was… It just felt easier to help someone else than it was to help myself.
I hated EPRH. it was hell.
All the times I seen people ask over the years if I’m going to any reunions etc… I only asked why the hell would I ever want to go back to hell to see assholes?? No thanks.
The few people who went there who were amazing then and are still amazing now were very much appreciated… And I’m happy to still consider those few my friends even though we’ve gone years out of touch…
I’m sorry that you were bullied. I hate mean people and you were always so sweet and nice!!! There was never any reason for anyone to ever treat you badly!!!!
Everyone should address the issue of bullying immediately and Stop it right away!!! I do not like when anyone gets hurt!!!!
Hi Melaney,
Wow…thank you so much for sharing and for commenting. You know what? I had no idea anyone was reading this. Sorry for not responding until now. 🙂
I agree – school was pretty rough. I think I had people bothering me from day one – and that was a big reason my brother and I left school and did homeschooling when we finished grade 9. Couldn’t take it anymore. Best decision for us.
I honestly don’t know if I’d want to go to reunion – have been way out of touch with a lot of people, and have been far away anyway. But I don’t know if I’d want to go if I were close.
I may be curious to see how folks have been doing.
But I’m sure I’d be…very aware of the ones who gave us so much trouble. They may not even show up, I guess…but I would likely worry.
I’m glad to know you took the stand you took. That takes so much courage! I bet you helped a lot of people by doing that. I am also sorry you were bullied. And I can totally remember you being a kind and friendly person. And to your point: I don’t think anyone ever should have to be bullied. It’s just so sad that it happens, and keeps happening.
Thank you again for reading and for taking the time to comment. I appreciate you being here! 🙂
No problem!! I wondered where you disappeared to!! I know you were always so nice and I know people were horrible in that place… No one who was good to everyone deserves that bullsh!!t!!!
I hate when people bully others it really makes me sick!!! Because I know how it feels.
I have never gone to any reunions since I graduated that place. It was a living hell. I had no reason to go back to see fake people. The people I considered my friends since elementary school I’ve added to Facebook. A few mean people even added me to Facebook…. Initially I added them feeling like I had to… Then one day I thought to myself frig this.. they’re gone!!! I blocked them all! I felt much happier! I don’t need fake people all up in my life now, I’ve done just fine without them! 🙂
I’m happy you have a wonderful Life and family now that’s so awesome! You deserve you! <3
Keep on writing, I look forward to reading more! 🙂
Mel
Yeah, gatekeeping – being in charge of who we allow into our lives is super important, that’s for sure. I think when we’re young we don’t easily recognize that we can do that…or we aren’t sure how, or we feel powerless to do so. And so we get steamrolled over. I think for most of my elementary/jr high time, I was the latter – not feeling like I could do anything about it, except just take it. I bet lots of people fall into that category.
But since then…over the years…I think I’ve gone a long way towards making peace with that time of my life, and can say it’s pretty much behind me. Not 100% yet…I still need to push myself not to hide, which was a kind of survival thing for me I think: stay quiet, stay out of the way to avoid the trouble makers. Now that I think about it…totally didn’t help me, but anyway..that’s what I tried to do, and what I am working to step away from today. Funny how things like that follow you, eh? Ever feel like you’re still carrying skeletons around today from that time?